Fifth Time’s the Charm? Surviving the ER with Kids
2023 was a challenging year for our family. Our daughter ended up in the ER five - yes five - times over the course of the year. Our year ended with four ER visits in November and December because of serum sickness.
For some background, my daughter is in full time daycare while my husband and I work, and comes home with nearly everything that goes around the school and is out every 2-3 weeks with something. We’ve started joking that she’s essentially the canary in her school. Being sick all the time has meant having her on a constant stream of antibiotics. I believe her system finally rebelled with serum sickness like reactions (SSLRs), landing us in the ER three out of the five times.
If you haven’t heard of SSLRs, it’s when your body reacts to antibiotics as if you had been bitten by a snake. Lots of swelling, hives, uncontrollable itchiness, and feeling super crummy (learn more about it on the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital website here).
The scary part is that her SSLR was severe. Her joints were so swollen that she refused to stand, walk, crawl or move because it was simply too painful. We didn’t know what was going on the first time, so it was panic-inducing, especially when our pediatrician took more than three hours to return a phone call. (Good first time Mom learning here - when in doubt and if you can’t get an answer as quickly as you need from your pediatrician, just go to the ER.)
Thankfully the ER nurses and doctors at the pediatric hospital were absolutely amazing. However, no steroids were prescribed at that time, so we were back 12-hours later and admitted to the hospital because her reaction was severe and not improving. It was a grueling process. She was low on the triage list so she was not seen or given any pain killers or antihistamines for more than 5 hours. By the time she was seen, her voice was hoarse from screaming in pain and she was exhausted. It was BRUTAL. And I felt powerless not being able to do anything to make her feel better. We ended up with a 2-night, 3-day stay at the most expensive “hotel” I’ve ever stayed in.
The third time it happened, we had a fabulous ER experience and were quickly admitted into the hospital for yet another overnight stay. Thankfully this round wasn’t as severe, and we were able to go home after a single night. But guess what? I had COVID, so I wasn’t even sure if they would let me be there with her. They did, but I wore a mask the entire time with my kiddo asking to see my face. My Mom heart was near breaking.
So, how did we endure? How did we survive that whole trauma as a family? Here’s how we handled it to get us through it, with a bonus observation for longer stays:
Divide and Conquer Having the right teammate as a spouse is essential here - you have to be OK with dividing and conquering between all of your normal responsibilities and the hospital overnights. If you’re like us and have a dog, it is crucial to get help with taking her out so your already stressed-out mind can take something off the list. You can’t do it all, so remember it is OK to delegate.
Recharge Yourself Emotionally and Physically Take that moment to cry in the privacy of one of the adult bathrooms. Have the breakdown there so you can keep smiling and remain level-headed during the emergency. Taking five minutes to yourself is not a crime. And if you’re dividing and conquering, you will need a break from the hospital. At a minimum, go home, take a hot shower and maybe cry some more. Know that if a true emergency starts happening while you are not with your kiddo, your spouse will call you to get there asap. And don’t forget to stay hydrated and eat at least some greens and fruits, as tempting as it will be to gorge on all the carbs that are freely available in the cafeteria.
Laughter and Kindness are Crucial Keeping your kiddo comfortable and as happy as they can be helps. If the children’s hospital has playrooms and your kiddo isn’t contagious or compromised, let them play. Let them be a kid and take a break from the beeps from the machines when possible, even if they are walking around or being wheeled around with an IV pole and a medicine drip. Small breaks walking outside are also a balm for the soul.
Kindness will go a long way with the nurses and physicians that attend to your kiddo. They really are trying the best they can, and if something goes wrong (ahem a bad IV placement…twice…) they are human after all.
Create Something Together Our kiddo’s memories of the hospital aren’t of the pain or misery, for which I am grateful. One of her friends sent her a window art kit during her stay. My daughter loved being able to paint and see her art hung up in her hospital windows. And she still has them hanging where she can see them every day. I like to think it reminds her of the love and support friends can offering during a crisis, and also of her fortitude and bravery. Another friend sent her an awesome Spidey & His Amazing Friends coloring set - and the best part is that the markers only color those specific pages. Gotta love Imagine Ink!
Don’t Forget the Stuff! If I could re-do our second ER visit, it would have been to bring our own Tylenol and Benadryl with us (I mean, we WERE there during a recent COVID/RSV/Flu trifecta). That way, if the staff is slammed you at least have something you can administer to your child yourself. Just remember to PLEASE tell your physician or nurse what you gave so medication overlap doesn’t become a problem. And before you head to the ER, if you have the time, go ahead and pack an overnight bag for you and your child just in case you get admitted. I would’ve brought with us the essentials in my dop kit (toothbrush/toothpaste/eye glasses/my meds/deodorant/etc.), but then would’ve thrown in an extra outfit each, blankets and slippers. And don’t forget a luvie for your kiddo, and a charger for your phone. While they will have a cafeteria and commissary, it is also helpful to bring water bottles and snacks.
OK and for the bonus round…
When I was stepping into the elevator before a quick “tour” of the hospital with our daughter, I saw a Dad and his son bringing their Nespresso machine and frother to his other kiddo’s room. Talk about self-care during a stressful situation! But, I did say a little prayer that they would only be there long enough to make a single cup.
Hope this was helpful! And if you’ve had an experience you want to share or other tips to make hospital stays and ER visits more bearable, please drop me a note to the email - hello at survivalist gal dot com. I’d love to hear from you.
This blog post is solely based on my own personal experience. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of your pediatrician. Please seek help if you or your child are having a medical emergency.
